You tell yourself it’s not that bad. That maybe things will change. That you’ve already invested so much—time, love, effort. And yet, deep down, you feel the weight of something that doesn’t feel like love anymore.
Toxic relationships don’t always come with bruises. Sometimes, they come with apologies that mean nothing, promises that never hold, and a slow erosion of the person you used to be. They make you second-guess yourself, isolate you from those who care, and leave you wondering if leaving is even an option.
Maybe you’ve convinced yourself you’re staying for love, for the kids, or because you’re afraid of starting over. Maybe you don’t even recognize yourself anymore.
But here’s what you need to know: You are not weak for struggling. You are human. And you are not alone.
The Pattern You Can’t Quite Name
At first, things were good—maybe even perfect. There were moments when they made you feel like the most important person in the world. But over time, something shifted. The words became sharper, the love felt conditional, and the person who once lifted you up started to break you down.
They knew exactly how to pull you back in. After every painful moment came a flood of apologies, promises, and sweet gestures that made you doubt yourself. Maybe I overreacted. Maybe they didn’t mean it. Maybe if I just tried harder…
But the cycle never truly ends, does it? The highs become fewer, the lows more frequent. And still, you stay—because leaving feels like an even bigger unknown than the pain you already understand.
The Lies That Keep You Stuck
You tell yourself:
❌ Maybe I’m the problem. (You’re not. Love doesn’t require you to shrink.)
❌ They can change if I just love them enough. (Change is a choice, and it’s theirs to make—not yours to force.)
❌ No one else will understand or want me. (Your worth isn’t defined by one person’s inability to see it.)
❌ I’ve already put in so much time; I can’t just walk away. (Time spent in pain is not an investment—it’s a lesson.)
The First Step Isn’t Leaving—It’s Seeing
The hardest part isn’t packing your bags or saying goodbye—it’s allowing yourself to see the truth. To admit that you’ve been hurting longer than you care to admit. That the love you’re fighting for might not be love at all.
And once you see it, once you say it out loud—even if only to yourself—the power begins to shift.
Maybe you’re not ready to leave today. That’s okay. But what if, just for a moment, you imagined a different future? One where your heart doesn’t feel like a battlefield. Where you don’t have to walk on eggshells, hold your breath, or brace for the next emotional storm.
What if love felt safe?
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
I’ve had conversations with people who were exactly where you are now—people who felt stuck, exhausted, and unsure of how they lost themselves along the way. Some came to me not even looking for a way out, just needing someone to say, I see you. You’re not crazy. You’re not broken.
I remember one woman who told me, “I don’t even know who I am anymore. I used to be so full of life, and now I feel like a shell of myself.” She wasn’t asking for advice. She just needed space to say those words out loud. And in that moment, something clicked for her—she wanted herself back more than she wanted to keep proving her worth to someone who refused to see it.
Another client sat across from me, still holding on to hope that things would change. “But we still have good days sometimes. What if I leave and regret it?” I gently asked them, “What if you stay and regret that even more?” Silence. Then a deep breath. The kind of breath that comes when the truth finally lands.
That’s the thing about toxic relationships. The hardest part isn’t leaving—it’s seeing. It’s believing that life could be peaceful again, that love doesn’t have to be painful, that you don’t have to keep fighting to be enough.
If this is hitting home for you, know that you don’t have to figure it all out today. You don’t have to be ready to leave. You just have to be ready to see yourself again. And when you are—I’ll be here to walk with you, just like I have for so many others.
No pressure. No judgment. Just clarity, strength, and the support you deserve.
Whenever you’re ready. 💙
Find Yourself 